​https://onbeing.org/programs/esther-perel-the-erotic-is-an-antidote-to-death/
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Check out this podcast episode (link above) with brilliant marriage and sex therapist Esther Perel explaining her view of the erotic to Krista Tippet. Perel describes the erotic as a deep, spiritual quality of play, pleasure, and curiosity. It's an energy that allows people to experience a feeling of aliveness, even in the face of trauma, tragedy, and loss. 

The episode called to mind one of Audre Lorde's famous writings "Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power." In it, she writes: "The erotic is a resource within each of us that lies in a deeply female and spiritual plane, firmly rooted in the power of our unexpressed or unrecognized feeling." 

Both Perel and Lorde encourage us to tap into the knowledge that resides inside of us and to be curious about ourselves. About our desires. About our fears. About our need to feel alive. They assert that the erotic is not exclusively sexual and that it is never superficial. You can harness the erotic in your work, in play, in seeking adventure and joy in nature. 

How do you feel the erotic in your life? Do you feel it? When do you feel most alive? Most free?

If you don't feel it right now, I encourage you not to shame or judge yourself, but to instead be curious. What's blocking it? What are the worries? The fears? What messages from your family, your culture, or the larger societal pressures block you from your intuitive knowledge of yourself? 

If you're feeling worn down, exhausted, angry, or tremendously afraid of the heightened worldwide white supremacist capitalistic patriarchal violence, you are not alone. If you're worried about homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, and ableism you're not alone. If you're worried about climate change, you're not alone. Coping means trying to find the balance between disconnecting enough to enjoy what’s good in life now versus paying enough attention to take action (if you can) to address the very real threats to human rights in our larger world.
 
Here are some self-care strategies that people have found helpful in these trying times. Find the ones that fit best and add them to your regular routine. Self-care is usually most effective when it's something you do on a regular basis rather than just in a crisis:

• Find one small thing to do. Write a letter or email to my representatives, donate to a local organization or politician, give to someone’s GoFundMe campaign.
• Take several slow deep breaths and focus on filling your belly with air. Diaphragmatic breathing can help relax you, slow your heart rate, and helps to ground you in the present moment. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/9445-diaphragmatic-breathing 
• Connect with a friend or loved one. Sometimes that means sharing your fears, but sometimes it might mean you just chat about nothing in particular. It's important to stay connected to your community in trying times.
• Go for a walk. Feel your feet on the ground. Notice the smells, sights, and sounds around me. Observe nature using all of your senses.
• Do something artistic! It doesn't have to be skillful, but coloring, drawing, even rearranging furniture or putting new pictures in frames in your home can activate the part of your brain that is more visual and creative.
• Enjoy the liberties that you have in the present moment. What can you do? If you can't vote, maybe you can still research candidates and share information with people in your life who are able to vote. If you can't afford expensive self-care (getting your nails done in a salon), maybe you can find a way to do a cheaper version (buying drugstore polish or getting friends together to do nails together). 
• Celebrate your culture and your identities. In whatever ways feel safe to you, celebrate your culture! Eat the food of your people, wear the clothes that fit you best, speak your language, celebrate your history. 
  
• Get educated. This could be reading, watching videos on YouTube (as long as you stay away from conspiracy theory videos), or listening to podcasts. Learning can help to make sense of things that are happening around us and can put current oppressions in historical perspective. Even when the history is brutal, it can be helpful to connect the dots between the past and the present.